Paragraph Testing (Line Editing Saves the Day)
I hope the title of this one caught your eye. This newsletter won’t be a long one. But I believe it’s mighty.
It is like a strong cup of espresso that reminds you bigger isn’t always better. (I’m not one of those coffee bean horticulturalists, but man, it’s a wonder how they get so much flavor from something so small.)
The editing tip I have to share with you is to conduct your own paragraph test. Go line by line or phrase by phrase, whatever suits your attention span. (Line by line is where we get the term line editing, which is looking at your writing through a micro lens.)
Don’t look for commas or punctuation or dialogue cues.
Examine the vocabulary.
Many high school English teachers taught us that the thesaurus was our best friend; we could coerce a flavorful word out of that baby and magically turn a “said” into an “exclaimed.” And all would be right in the world, I mean, the essay.
However, I’m here to disagree with the teacher who told you that the more professional-sounding, higher-level vocabulary word was the better one. In fact, I think many times, we need the opposite.
When we read our writing, whether nonfiction or fiction, we should be able to taste it or smell it or touch it. Our readers want an experience.
Word choice is crucial. Knowing your audience is even more important.
If you are writing for intellectuals, maybe a fancy word here and there gets you extra credit. But if you are writing for a child or for a mom who is up half the night because of her toddler’s nightmares, I’d go with what they can tangibly feel or sense.
So take your paragraph on a test walk. Look at how you describe a concept, explain a scene, or share an illustration. What words could be broken down even more? What phrases can you use that evoke a feeling instead of being glossed over?
Like a shiny penny that tastes metallic to the tongue, every word you use should be obvious. Use the flashy vocabulary sparingly. And when you do, make sure its purpose is clear.
Tips for editing your vocab 101:
- Read the last two sentences of the paragraph. If you had only those two sentences to go by, would you be able to hear, smell, touch, taste, or vividly see the concept, idea, or scene?
- Look at the two sentences in the middle-most section of your paragraph. Do they correlate directly to helping your reader not only identify the point you are trying to make but also relate to it? (We relate with our senses and our emotions most often.)
- Go back to the first sentence. If you read that on its own, how would you feel? Pretend that your editor won’t let you go beyond that sentence; is it enough? Too much? Does it rip past what you really wanted it to say? Did you try to discreetly tuck a word in there that your reader may know, yes, but also may skim over if she is tired, hungry, or distracted while reading?
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Something to look at and someone to follow
I’m trying out a new space at the end of these newsletters. It’s going to be short and squatty like my Driver’s Ed teacher who, red-faced and bald, would look at me as I approached a yellow light and ask, “Are you committed? Are you committed?”
So, in the spirit of a short question, I’ll leave you with three short questions in this new space:
- Are you looking at a writing screen these days? (In other words, are you writing? I phrase it this awkward “looking at” way because I know that so much of writing comes from staring at something: a screen, a third cup of coffee, a leaf falling during your latest walk, and… so tell me. What’s on deck for your writing this week?
- Would you like a new Substack newsletter to follow? If so, I highly recommend The Shelf by Sarah E. Westfall. It’s relatable and honest: two qualities I admire in anyone but especially in writers.
- On my Instagram account this week, I wrote about relationships and how the glossy appearances we try to mold aren’t the real glue that holds us together. And also fall. What’s your favorite season? Share in the comments.
Until next time, keep writing.
